Here's To You

Today is a pretty special day. 

Six years ago today I married the love of my life.  Little did I know that December 17^th, 2005 would be the start of an amazing, challenging, eye-opening, challenging, encouraging, and yep you guessed it…challenging piece in the puzzle of my God-given life.  It hasn’t been easy.  It hasn’t been perfect.  It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  A question from a book that I read on marriage has stuck with me since the day I read it: “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”  **Cue “deer in the headlights” facial expression.**

Once in awhile, Nate and I realize the situation we got ourselves into and recognize the craziness of it all.  Six years of marriage, three years of dating, and one stinkin cute kiddo later, we never had any inkling of this happening 15 years ago.  We knew each other long before we started dating.  We were awkward 7^th graders when we first met.  Both of us would say if we had dated each other in high school, there’s no way in heck we would've lasted.  So we usually thank God for his grace that allowed us to not let our hormones get the best of us ;-) Although, that would’ve been a sight to see…a punky, I’m-too-cool-for-school guy and an insecure, so-what-if-I-pretend-to-be-someone-I’m-not girl.  Um yeah, if you’d like a visual of this description you should see the pictures from our junior year prom that we apathetically attended together.   

**You might want to get your barf bags ready, because I’m gonna get pretty mushy in a second.**

I am grateful that 10 years ago, Nate started to boldly pursue me.  I’m grateful that he kept pursuing me after I shot him down when he first asked me out.

I’m grateful that Nate is the optimistic one in the relationship.  He’s usually the one to put my Debbie-downer attitude in check.

I’m grateful that through major life changes, Nate has led with a love that screams “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

I’m grateful that in my post-partum manic depressive emotional state, Nate continued to love and care for me, despite my ugliness. 

I love this man that God has given me.  We are perfect for each other.  My weaknesses are usually his strengths, and my strengths are usually his weaknesses.  Through Nate, God has shown me so much of myself…the good parts and the ugly parts.  The parts of myself that I’d rather not see, but God chooses to use it to make me more like Him.  I love that over the years we have learned to communicate better, love each other better, and challenge each other more.  I am thankful for Nate’s hard-working nature that provides for me and Livi.

So, everybody raise your glasses…

Here’s to you my one and only love of my life, Nate Miller.  Until death do us part!

And now for a few choice photos from our wedding day six years ago:

Snow White

I write this post feeling absolutely overwhelmed by God’s love and grace.  I am broken before the cross of Christ reflecting on the sacrifice that was made for ME!  I know this should be an ever-apparent thought in my daily life, but quite honestly it’s not.  I so easily forget.  I distract myself with everything else.  I’m in the middle of this book study that has grown and stretched me like crazy.  The book is called “What Women Fear” by Angie Smith.  So each week on the (in)courage website two chapters are discussed via video.  The chapter that was reviewed today is called “The First Stone: Fear Of My Past Catching Up To Me.”  The story from the Bible that Angie illustrated this with is the story of the adulterous woman being brought before Jesus by the Pharisees.  The Pharisees were reciting the law saying that anyone caught in adultery should be stoned.  They waited for Jesus’ response, hoping to have a charge to bring against him.  They wanted to find blame in the One who was completely blameless.  Jesus responds by bending down to write something on the ground he was standing on.  He then stands up and tells the Pharisees, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her."  Jesus again bent down to write something on the ground, and as he did that the accusers walked away one by one.  Now, I’m not going to go into anything specifically about my past…I have one…so does everyone else.  If I’m being real, I really do have a fear that my past will catch up to me.  Yeah, I don’t show it in a noticeable way, or I don’t try to scramble around covering up my past, but I do let it get the best of my thought life sometimes.  What if what I did back then shows its ugly head in my life today?  What if a punishment is waiting for me around the corner?  Just like the adulterous woman, I’m waiting for someone to throw the first stone.  A line in the chapter that struck my heart was: “I am convinced that the enemy preys on our memories and regrets, and taunts us with the many ways in which we have failed God.”  So true!  Guess what though?!?!  The beauty of the cross of Christ covers me in forgiveness and grace!  I have most definitely asked God to forgive me for those times in my life, so I have to choose to believe and take God at his word when He says that my sins are as far away from being held against me as the east is from the west.  I am forgiven.  I am clean.  Angie describes Jesus in this way (which I looooove her wording!): “[Jesus is] The shame-lifter, the God-made-man, the burden-carrier, the lover of my soul…with forgiveness and grace like I had never known.”  It absolutely takes my breath away.  I’m just going to continue to use Angie’s words and leave you with one more quote from her book: “The Lord has delighted in the grace that washes you white as snow.  White.  As.  Snow.”